


The People's Scorpion King

by Shadow_the_hughog



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Minor Cursed Child spoilers, One Shot, Short, i apologise for nothing, it's really really dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 18:33:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7694989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_the_hughog/pseuds/Shadow_the_hughog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>NOTE: MINOR CURSED CHILD SPOILERS. Scorpius Malfoy, The Scorpion King, joins a duelling competition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The People's Scorpion King

Green and silver banners fluttered in the wind over the crowd. The participants were gathered, and waiting. The traditional Voldemort Day duelling tournament was about to begin. The only thing they were waiting for was the star of the day, the reigning champion; the Scorpion King.

After a few minutes, the great doors of Hogwarts burst open and a bright white mist spilled out. The crowd roared as their beloved champion walked out, gesturing and waving to the crowd, then fell silent as he raised his wand to his throat.

“FINALLY...” His magically enhanced voice boomed out over the grounds, “THE SCORP HAS COME BACK TO HOG-WAAAAAAARTS!” Under his sleeveless robes, his oiled, muscular arms rippled as he began to strut down the walkway towards the duelling stage. “Now, The Scorp hears what the people have been saying. They've been saying, 'Wow, Scorp, how did you get so great? How can I be as fantastically amazing as you?' Well, the answer to that, children, is to always eat your Dementor-Os and to devote your genetically superior pureblood body to the service of the Dark Lord. But of course, not all of you have genetically superior pureblood bodies. Like these Jabronis here,” he gestured towards the other duellists, “probably don't have a drop of real wizard blood in the lot!”

“How dare you!” One girl shrieked. “I'll have you know my family goes back for generations of pure wizards and witches! I think you need to-”

“ **IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!** ” The Scorp roared. “Claim all the blood purity you want, these fine people will all see the truth when you step into that duelling stage and I take that stolen wand, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways and STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY ASS!”

The crowd cheered and chanted his name: “SCORP-Y! SCORP-Y! SCORP-Y!”

“So if you wanna prove yourself, you wanna beat the soon-to-be three time champ, the people's champ, the one, the only, the Scorpion King, then I've got three words for you,” by now, Scorpius was standing in position on the duelling stage, waiting for his first opponent. “JUST! BRING! IT!” And with this, he struck a duelling pose, raised one perfect white eyebrow, and waited for the duelling to begin.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> They nicknamed him after a The Rock movie and I had bad thoughts which I had to share. I'd say I'm sorry about this, but that would be lying and I love you too much to lie to you, dear reader.


End file.
